this is my life~~~
had the BSP graduate career exhibition today and gonna have the same thing again tomorrow. *sigh* now i'm just at home. tired. sleepy. but at some point, i just feel so miserable, sad, upset and soooo unhappy. why? could be work. could be stress. could be loneliness. could be the 'different' lifestyle i have here compare to uk which i'm sooooooo used to already. all i can say is that people change.
met a lot of my md schoolmates. most of them were quite surprised to see me there standing amongst bsp staff with my name tag, asking 'you working with bsp kah?' :) and proudly i explain my current life lah.
after the tiring one day show, had a drink with falin. it seemed ages i've seen my girls. jst kinda make me even more sad cos everything's changing and i don't feel the same. i might seem happy, smiling on the outside, but on the inside i'm as troubled as the coming waves at the beach. i dunno. i'm just in a state where nothing makes me happy anymore. nothing. a part of me just can't wait to get back to uk where i feel 'at home'. here, i just feel so stressed out, so unnoticed, so alone, and so ignored!
work has been fine, yes, but most of the time during lunch with the bsp scholars, i felt out of place, like a stranger trying to 'fit in' their group. i dunno. i guess im used to the group of friends i have now plus im used to being either alone or with smelly most of the time. guess i just miss u smelly... *sigh*
my life sucks here. and im hating it. nothing exites me. almost nothing makes me happy anymore.. :( i hate feeling this way.. why am i feeling this way????? maybe i'm just missing amal and maybe a part of me still regret for didn't have the chance to see her one last time.. :'( miss you babygirl..
okay, enuff for the night i guess. *sigh* nyte nyte ppl..