Salaam.

Okay I give up!

I feel a lot better today so I decided to be a bit more chattier than the last post I put on.

*grins*

Alhamdulillah...

Life does have its ups and downs, and I gotta say, these past coupla weeks, most of the 'downs' were in my life, but I'm still thankful.. because without the hardship, I guess I tend to be ignorant and tend to forget, so this way, I take it as a reminder to myself that I have been negligent and need to get back on track and Alhamdulillah, so far so good...

Amsterdam trip was marvelous. Bought a few souvenirs for myself, and a few for others. What I didn't mention before about the trip was...

Upon reaching the port in Hull, and at the checkpoint where they check the passport and stuff..? Well, something happened there...

Apparently, ours were the very last to be checked due to questions being asked such as "what are you doing in UK? what course you're studying and where? yada yada yada"... and there's more..

two police officers were standing behind the custom person and started asking questions to Adi. Being the curious little one that I was, I joined in. Basically, they said that "we are just trying to create an understanding in the community, due to what happened a few years back"... I was thinking, "yeah right. 'create an understanding my a$$'", one of them asked me personal questions like "where do I pray, at mosque or at home?" and things like "if I know there are some gatherings going on at the mosque, would I be willing to come forward to tell them about it?" You must be thinking, what the heck???????? I was so sasak with all these questions and I pitied my parents who seemed so tired but were less aware with what was really going on. I didn't wanna alert them much, enough to say that it's 'normal' and it's a 'normal procedure' to be expected with us muslims. But actually, it's more than that... As you know, somehow in the UK now, they are afraid that people might be recruiting 'extremists' among university students through gatherings in mosque etc. You know what I think, I think they just failed to do their job so that's why 7/7 London bombing happened, so now they just want to cover up their mistake by blaming the rest of the muslim people. Easy way out, right? What was my answer to that? I said "Well, if I think it could lead to something that is wrong in terms of the practice of Islam, then, yes, I would be willing to come forward... so that depends on the activities being held. Plus, I don't pray at mosque as I prefer the comfort of my own room and my own space, but IF I have to, then I won't mind playing my part in a community..." BUT... I continued "what is up with the rest of the people now? They see a woman wearing hijab and straight away they assumed I'm an extremist, and start giving me all these looks and I get the mistreatment, not knowing that I am just here to study and at the same time, have the freedom to practise my faith" And his answer to that? "Because they are uneducated". So if that's the deal, EDUCATE THEM THEN! Don't go on blaming the rest of the muslim people for what has happened two years ago! Don't generalize that every single muslim is a terrorist! Just because a muslimah like myself CHOOSE to cover up and practice my faith, that does not justify the fact that I am an extremist! Extremist, terrorism DOES NOT GO WITH ISLAM. The word 'Islam' itself means 'safety and peace'. THINK PEOPLE, THINK!

I have to admit, I felt harrassed when the policeman asked personal questions regarding where I live, how old I am, my parents' names, what course I'm taking. FOR WHAT?????????????????? So that I can be a candidate for future 'WANTED TERRORIST'? Okay, that's a bit extreme, but that's how much I hated that day!

Some of you may not have experienced what I have experience and hence, may not know what it feels like to be 'labelled' as 'dangerous' just because I wear my hijab. I know why we were 'interviewed' that day, because it so happened that I was wearing my hijab. He even asked "okay.. what religion are you practising?" Like, hello?? Obvious jua tu that, upon hearing the word... "Islam"... then boom! "we have to ask a few questions"... argh!!! If there is such a thing as 'fair treatment' in this country, why not they ask every single person who just came back from amsterdam despite whether they were wearing hijab or not, whether they practice whatever religion, at least be fair. Ani inda, macam kana target udah, Muslim = dangerous, ALERT ALERT!

At the end of the day, you know what I think? NO FREAKING COMPROMISE!

Just because I experienced that will not and will never melemahkan my semangat to even wanna show everyone else that I am SO PROUD to be a muslimah. Yeah, it might bring me hassle in terms of being questions and it might delay things for me, but you know what? at the end of the day, no success comes without hardship.. I don't fear them mere mortal beings, besides, why should I be afraid if I know I don't do anything wrong. I only takut at Allah s.w.t. and if this is what it takes to be a muslimah in a non-muslim country, and if I have to endure a lot of harassment as long as I'm on the right path, I know Allah will help me out. I know Allah is there for me, insya Allah. Even our beloved Prophet (pbuh) even endured a much worse dugaan when he was alive in order to spread Islam. And yet, here we are 1400 years later, insya Allah, Islam will have the upperhand. At the end of the day, we muslims believe that Judgement Day will happen, for sure. Kalau pun di dunia ani seems so unfair for us, rest assured that on Judgmenet Day, Allah will be the judge, and we all know He is The Most Just - Al Adl.

I will not compromise my hijab, just because of such unfair treatment that I get due to my wearing hijab. So, it'll mean that I will be more likely to be targeted for extra security check-up compare to those who are muslims but don't really practice being a muslimah and get away with it, but this is my choice. It doesn't matter if I don't get away from it as easy for now, so long as I know dosa pahala will count on Judgement Day, where at that time, no single soul can even get away from receiving pembalasan yang setimpal dengan amalan atau dosa..

"Laaillahaillaa anta subahaanaka inni quntu minaz-zaalimin"

"Sesungguhnya tiada Tuhan (yang dapat menolong) melainkan Engkau (ya Allah) Maha Suci (daripada melakukan aniaya, tolonglah daku!). Sesungguhnya aku adalah dari orang-orang yang menganiaya diri sendiri"

Islam is complete. We should be representing Islam and keep our muslim identity. No compromise. We act based on Islam. Under no circumstances, no matter what THEY think, sisters be proud, a muslimah, Allahu Akbar, that's what you are with that hijab on, despite a few oppressions in our lives, covering up away from the evil eyes, Islam guides, darkness to light, stand tall answering Allah's call, at school, at work, I advice - DON'T COMPROMISE!

Well, I know I've been keeping a lot of things inside, sometimes it's better to stay quiet than saying some things that can bawa banyak dosa, yes?

Hmmm.. so what did I do in London? I went to see a movie at Whiteleys with Aiman, Fina and Izni and then had dinner at Khan's at Bayswater. I did go around Oxford Street with Aiman on Boxing Day, hmmm.. I learnt to use Oyster Card which I happen to love! ;)

Hmmm.. what else? Now, I have about.. more than 3 weeks of holiday to fill in. I have no assignments, no exams, no whatsoever so I must fill my holiday with.. things. Or I can just be lazy and stay at home watching movies... who knows, right? :)

Whatever it is, it's for me to know, for now. :)

Aaaahh. I feel much better after letting out a few things I've been keeping inside. Don't you just love it when you get to say what you want because it's your blog? Despite what others might think about it... who cares? I don't. I ain't the one forcing you to visit this blog, true?

*grins* I feel like singing, I feel like dancing... the world makes sense again... life is beautiful, indeed... Alhamdulillah ;) I certainly cannot stop smiling :D

My blessing in disguide, indeed. :) So can you keep a secret...? *Shh..*

Hadith of An-Nasa'i, the Prophet Muhammad s.a.w. says "Whoever among you sees an evil action, let him change it with his hand; if he is not able to do so, let him change it with his tongue; if he is not able to do so, let him change it with his heart. And that is the weakest state of faith"

Be in Allah's protection, my friends. May Allah guides us to His right path, insya Allah.

To my dear, wake up soon and get better, kaka will always pray for your healthy-being eventhough kaka is not around... sayang iqah! Insya Allah, Allah Maha Pengasih lagi Maha Penyayang...

He adviced to stay strong, banyakkan bersabar and banyakkan berdo'a... *grins*

<3

/edited

I was thinking, Leeds isn't such a bad place when it comes to practicing my faith. In fact, I love Leeds! I love my course, and my coursemates have been super wonderful... the reason being that about 90% of us are international students might be a part of it. Besides, LU encourages and supports a healthy multi-cultural environment and everyone in LUBS have been wonderful, so great!

As compared to when I was back in Boro. I still remember the stares I got, the intentionally-accidentally-bumps I received just by walking around the small town. But those days are over now, insya Allah... now, I can freely walk in the cc and be able to smile at other people and give my salaam to other sisters in Islam. Alhamdulillah.

All in all, if I had to do it all over again, I'd choose Leeds. Who wouldn't? It's a great student city. Lets make it a wonderful year, shall we? ;)

Oh. and Eid Mubarak~!