Isn't it funny.

Salaam everyone.

I have come across this post and it's quite interesting.

It's titled Buat Bakal Suamiku, credits go to the writer, Zahranuur.

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Let me tell you one secret.

Truthfully, I am scared. Emotionally, I am SCARED.

Lately, I have been somewhat compromising with myself. And I blame it none other than myself and my weak iman. I would love to rant and/or let it all out here, but I decided not to, I told myself, I have a better listener (not that you guys are any less than better ;)), so it's either I keep it to myself, or I tell Him.

All my happiness, all my sorrows, all my smiles, all my sadness, all my tears, all my secrets, I tell Him.

So many things I want to share with you. One of the things that I have been avoiding to talk about is - love and relationship.

Because it might be considered as - unmuslimah - for me to talk about it since quite more than a few times I have mentioned about the beauty of muslimah, lower gaze, haya'... then you might wonder, how am I going to find a suitable husband?

Allah knows, my readers. You don't know what I've gone through, what I am going through. But Allah knows :D

It seems a lot more complicated to be put into words - for fear that you might get all judgmental - but at the end of the day, I know my intentions are right, insya Allah, and before I try to correct you, I am still trying to correct myself. Yes, I am not perfect. Yes, sometimes, I do feel lonely. Yes, I am still single. But I am not alone. Nor I am lonely. In fact, the very idea of a relationship scares the wits out of me. Perhaps because I have been out of it in a long time that I keep on telling myself that the next time I am in a relationship, let the guy be the one I want to spend the rest of my life with, the one who can guide me through living happily in this world and the next, insya Allah. To find that kind of guy, for me, is a challenge. Yes, there are a lot of potential out there, masya Allah. When I didn't ask for it, it seems like they're there queuing up - without being invited. Choices, choices, choices. But to know someone is to know how they are - islamically. It is a difficult task for me, but after reading this post, then I realize that it's quite simple. Yes, I do usaha as well, but more importantly, I leave it to Allah's hands.

It states that "... Tetapi anda perlu ingat, bukan semua perempuan mempunyai hati yang lembut dan mudah di bentuk. Keimanan dan kekuatan sikap merealisasikan Islam perlu ada pada lelaki. Perempuan yang beriman mesti mencari lelaki yang lebih kuat imannya daripadanya kerana lelakilah yang menjadi ketua keluarga…"

Lelaki lah yang menjadi ketua keluarga. How important that is in memilih calon suami? For me, that's quite important. Especially, when I have the intention to lead an Islamic life for my family one day, insya Allah. And for that, I supplicate to Allah to temukan jodoh with someone who can bimbing myself and our family in Islamic upbringing, because he will be my husband, my better half, my imam, insya Allah.

So, how now? How to find such worthy guys? They are around, ladies. Maybe a bit shy to approach knowing that a muslimah is usually 'out-of-reach'. For those who are daring and willing to take risks, can just go ahead and ask the girl or guy out. There's no harm in that. I've read books that advice girls or women to make the first move, instead of waiting for the guy to make the move - yes it might sound 'bari malu' and can di perumpanakan seperti 'perigi mencari telaga' (or is it the other way around? lol - right neez, kan guna peribahasa pun nda tau). In cases where you're a bit 'shy' to make the first move, this is where 'orang tengah' main peranan. 'Orang tengah' in this sense, can be someone we personally know, or a friend of that person we are interested to get to know.

Easy said than done, you know!

Ey-elahhhh... Let me tell you a little story.

Disclaimer: Based on true story this. And the person concerned has given approval for her story to be published.

Girl likes boy. But girl heard from sources that boy is apparently 'not available'. Then, girl keeps the friendship strictly friends for fear of being called names - 'perampas', 'gatal', 'nda sadar diri', etc. But at the same time, boy seems interested. Boy gives hints. Boy flirts. Girl plays along. But girl also gets confused. How meh? He's not available but why boy is saying things that are obviously flirtatious. Dangerous territory this. (Please note: flirtatious in a sense that is not melampaui batas, as boy and girl communicates most of the time via internet. Boy and girl still maintain the haya' or modesty between them in their conversation, wallahu'alam, but a lot of hinting is playing around. Hence, boy and girl never actually go out, nor dating, unless it is either attending functions where boy and girl are both involved in and when boy and girl meet, they keep it strictly casual). Then, one day, boy and girl meet up (accompanied by friends lah - not just the two of them), then boy and girl hit it off. This is also the day where boy and girl exchange phone numbers (finally) after knowing and communicating with each other for the past few months. They clicked. They enjoy each other's company. Girl likes boy even more. And boy seems to give positive feedback as well. Then friend of girl jokingly asked about the boy's beau. SHOCKER!

Boy says "I am single. I am not attached. I don't have a girlfriend". Boy looks at girl and repeats "I am still SINGLE". Girl blushes. All these times, it was false assumptions (which is why it's quite dangerous to assume things without proof - especially when it comes from a third party not from the person concerned). Anyways, after knowing that boy is single, girl gets a bit excited on what to do next. Girl likes boy. And seems like boy likes girl too. Plus when girl calls boy, a friend of boy hints "... boy is driving at the moment, any messages? want to say girl misses boy har?", girl, of course maintain ayu saying, "no.. just tell boy to call girl when boy is not so busy". It shows that boy tells friend about boy's interest on girl. And girl also tells close friends about girl's interest on boy. So, one day, girl and boy decides to watch movie with a bunch of friends. Then what?

Then, girl hints. Boy hints also. No direct talk. Just hints. Gaaahhhh~

Annoying right? Talk about stubborn and ego! heehee

Then, come third party - orang tengah - OT. OT says "bah give me boy's number, I text on girl's behalf". Girl gives in, thinking OT is joking. OT isn't.

So, OT texts guy stating, "(intro)... asking on behalf of girl because girl's shy and girl's the reserved one and I break rules... so what say lunch together... yes, no?"

The boy replies, "ehem.... I think I will text and ask her personally. Tell her also, don't be shy ;)"

JENG JENG JENG.

Then, boy texts girl. Boy asks girl to go out lunch. An official date :)

Moral of the story: Don't always take wholeheartedly any assumptions/stories without knowing/finding the truth from the person/s concerned. A little effort doesn't hurt. A little help from orang tengah is sometimes welcomed. But more importantly, set our intentions right, berdoa kepada Allah to permudahkan urusan, insya Allah..

Although, some might perceive it as "membari malu" or "never in my life will I ask a guy out". Babe, belum cuba belum tau... kalau atu tau malu, mendedah aurat depan non-muhrim, inda malu dengan Allah?(including me especially!! sigh). Don't let our ego keeps us away from a chance of happiness. As long as ia inda melampaui batas, dating pun dating jua, but when two people non-muhrims are together, best believe the third party is there to shake your iman. Nauzubillah... set your boundaries, get to know the guy, know hati budi nya, know how he brings himself, because if he fits the criteria of 'the one', then berdoa kepada Allah supaya dipertemukan jodoh dan diberi rahmat dalam perkenalan.

This is a reminder to myself, first and foremost, as I take the matter of marriage quite seriously nowadays. Love can be planted after marriage, but for those who are lucky enough to have found love before marriage, cherish it, minta keberkatan dari Allah supaya dijauhkan membuat kemungkaran dan semoga jodoh diperkuatkan, insya Allah...

Next up. Bab Kahwin. Excited this!!

Because, in a few hours, Khairul Aini will no longer be his fiance, but she will be his wife, his zaujah, his better half. Alhamdulillah. May Allah bless this union and strengthen both your and husband's iman, tingkatkan ketaqwaan dan kesabaran dalam menempuh hidup berumahtangga. I love you, sis. Words cannot express how I truly feel, cukuptah I include you in my duaa, insya Allah ;)

Ness, smitten much? ;) Speak soon, sweetiebums.