PUISI 2007 - Begin with THE END in Mind.

Salaam everyone,

I heard about this, I was informed about it, I was interested to be a part of it, but Allah knows best. Time is not by my side, because most probably I will be home at around that time. I was informed about it months ago by LUMSOC and knowing that I won't be around to join, seeing the video makes me more eager to come and participate. (perhaps I can work something out? *raising eyebrows*)

Masya Allah. May Allah reward and bless the brothers and sisters who enjoin together to do good for the ummah.

What's best also is that the invited speaker is him.

Alrighty. Insya Allah, will be off to London later. Despite a few 'complications' that arise at the very last minute, I am still 'bertawakal' to Allah to make ease my journey throughout, insya Allah.

Pray for my safe journey, everyone.

And kaka Hana, insya Allah, will see you later for iftar. What's the menu? ;)

Psst psst: it's Nuzul al-Qur'an today. And I'm polishing my tajuid so to speak, insya Allah :D

All are welcome~

Can you feel the heat of eid? Raya songs playing in your playlist already? Suara Takbir that brings tears to your eyes? Missing family and friends back home? Wishing that this year you're back home to celebrate raya with family and friends instead of stuck here?

Then, come one come all, come gather this year to celebrate Hari Raya with BruLeeds in Leeds ~



Will update this post later, insya Allah...

Salaam.

/edited.

Salaam everyone.

Alhamdulillah. Seems like everything, insya Allah, will be ok. I've been pretty busy with other beneficial (insya Allah) things lately that I shun myself away from blogging for a while in search of a peace of heart and mind :)

Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah, semoga usaha mendapat keberkatan.

I am fine. Life's too precious to worry about petty little things that could be insignificant tomorrow. Allah is enough for me~

Manusia Bertanya : Kenapa aku diuji?

Qur'an Menjawab : Apakah manusia itu mengira bahwa mereka dibiarkan (saja) mengatakan:"Kami telah beriman", sedang mereka tidak diuji lagi? (Al-Ankabuut : 2). Dan sesungguhnya Kami telah menguji orang-orang sebelum mereka, maka sesungguhnya Allah mengetahui orang-orang yang benar dan sesungguhnya Dia mengetahui orang-orang yang dusta. (Al-Ankabuut : 3)

Yaa Haadii ihdinash shirothol mustaqim.
Ya Tuhan Yang Maha Memberi Petunjuk, tunjukkanlah kepada kami jalan yang lurus.

Ya syakuruu a'innaa 'alaa syukrika
Ya Tuhan Yang Maha Menerima syukur, berikanlah kami kemampuan untuk selalu bersyukur kepada-Mu.

Insya Allah, mudahan semuanya selalu didalam keberkatan dan keredhaan Allah s.w.t.

~Selamat hari lahir untuk Dk. Noorfazlinawati Fatima @ Falin. My prayers are with you, insya Allah ;) ~

Counting down now.

Night.

Allah hafiz.

because i am a girl. a muslimah.

Salaam everyone,

I'm sure most of you have received the following information mostly via email.

But it doesn't hurt to have a quick looksie..

Kenapa Allah jadikan Hawa dari tulang rusuk Nabi Adam, bukan dari bahagian lain. Ada hikmahnya.

Tulang rusuk tu dekat dengan hati, menunjukkan kaum hawa dicipta untuk dikasihi oleh kaum adam.

Tulang rusuk tu dekat dengan ketiak menunjukkan kaum hawa dijadikan untuk dilindung oleh kaum adam.

Allah tak menjadi kan kaum hawa dari bahagian kepala untuk menandingi/melebihi kaum adam, dan juga bukan dari bahagian kaki untuk dipijak-pijak oleh kaum adam.

Beza Lelaki & Wanita

:: Lelaki ::

• Lelaki bujang kena tanggung dosa sendiri apabila sudah baligh manakala dosa gadis bujang ditanggung oleh bapanya.

• Lelaki berkahwin kena tanggung dosa sendiri, dosa isteri, dosa anak perempuan yang belum berkahwin dan dosa anak lelaki yang belum baligh. BERATKAN?

• Hukum menjelaskan anak lelaki kena bertanggungjawab ke atas ibunya dan sekiranya dia tidak menjalankan tanggungjawabnya maka dosa baginya terutama anak lelaki yang tua, manakala perempuan tidak, perempuan hanya perlu taat kepada suaminya. Isteri berbuat baik pahala dapat kepadanya kalau buat tak baik dosanya ditanggung oleh suaminya. BERATKAN??

• Suami kena bagi nafkah pada isteri, ini wajib tapi isteri tidak. Walaupun begitu isteri boleh membantu. Haram bagi suami bertanya pendapatan isteri lebih-lebih lagi menggunakan pendapatan isteri tanpa izin.

:: Wanita ::

• Auratnya lebih susah dijaga berbanding lelaki. Perlu meminta izin dari suaminya apabila mahu keluar rumah tetapi tidak sebaliknya.

• Saksinya kurang berbanding lelaki.

• Menerima pusaka kurang dari lelaki.

• Perlu menghadapi kesusahan mengandung dan melahirkan anak.

• Wajib taat kepada suaminya tetapi suami tak perlu taat pada isterinya.

• Talak terletak di tangan suami dan bukan isteri.

• Wanita kurang dalam beribadat kerana masalah haid dan nifas yang tak ada pada lelaki.

Wanita perlu taat kepada suami tetapi lelaki wajib taat kepada ibunya 3 kali lebih utama dari bapanya. Bukankah ibu adalah seorang wanita?

Wanita perlu bersusah payah mengandung dan melahirkan anak, tetapi setiap saat dia didoakan oleh segala haiwan, malaikat dan seluruh makhluk ALLAH di mukabumi ini, dan matinya jika kerana melahirkan adalah syahid kecil. Manakala dosanya diampun ALLAH (dosa kecil).

Di akhirat kelak, seorang lelaki akan dipertanggungjawabkan terhadap 4 wanita ini: isterinya, ibunya, anak perempuannya dan saudara perempuannya.

Manakala, seorang wanita pula, tanggungjawab terhadapnya ditanggung oleh 4 org lelaki ini: suaminya, ayahnya, anak lelakinya dan saudara lelakinya.

Seorang wanita boleh memasuki pintu Syurga melalui mana-mana pintu Syurga yang disukainya cukup dengan 4 syarat sahaja: sembahyang 5 waktu, puasa di bulan Ramadhan, taat suaminya dan menjaga kehormatannya. (masya Allah)

Seorang lelaki perlu pergi berjihad fisabilillah tetapi wanita jika taat akan suaminya serta menunaikan tanggungjawabnya kepada ALLAH akan turut menerima pahala seperti pahala orang pergi berperang fisabilillah tanpa perlu mengangkat senjata.

MasyaALLAH…sayangnya ALLAH pada wanita ….

Seorang wanita adalah pelengkap dan sememangnya istimewa di sisi seorang lelaki, tetapi ingatlah wahai lelaki…kamu sebenarnya adalah istimewa disisi Allah, maka dengan sebab itu DIA mengangkat kamu menjadi pemimpin…maka dengan keistimewaan itu, JAGALAH dan HARGAILAH wanita sebaik-baiknya…supaya kelak masing-masing lelaki dan wanita dapat pulang mengadap Allah dalam keadaan istimewa disisiNYA.

********

grab the chance untuk jadi ahli syurga ya Muslimah (insya Allah), Alhamdulillah, Allah jadikan tani seorang wanita muslimah, Alhamdulillah indeed :)

Because of this, and because I am a girl, because I am a muslimah...

pasal rasa terlalu sayang arah babahku, dan pasal terlalu sayang kepada bakal suamiku (whoever he might be, insya Allah), dan pasal kasih seorang adik & kakak kepada abang dan adi-adiku, makanya, sebagai seorang wanita muslimah, I am trying my best to minimize berbuat dosa in terms of pemakaian seharian, memperbaiki akhlakku sebagai seorang muslimah, meningkatkan dan meluaskan lagi pengetahuanku dalam bidang ugama dan pemahamanku dalam perkara-perkara yang berkaitan dengan Islam, penjagaan auratku yang memang sudah sangat susah untuk dijaga, even though it seems to be something that is hard to be done, but I will keep reminding myself that:

Firman Allah s.w.t.:

"Dan jika kamu mengikut sebahagian besar manusia (majoriti) di atas muka bumi ini nescaya kamu akan disesatkan dari jalan Allah

(Surah Al-An'aam, 6:116)

Rasulullah s.a.w. bersabda:

"Islam itu bermula dengan keadaan dagang (asing) dan akan berakhir dalam keadaan dagang, Maka beruntunglah orang yang dagang, yang menghidupkan sunnahku ketika orang merosakkannya"

Insya Allah, Allah knows best. Yang penting, mudahan beroleh keredhaan Allah s.w.t. dan mendapat berkat dalam apa jua perkara yang dilakukan demi untuk mendapat keampunan dari-Nya jua, Amin.

Whatever it is, apa pun jua dugaan yang datang, Allah knows, Dia Maha Mengetahui. Mudahan Allah tingkatkan lagi tahap kesabaranku, insya Allah.

Abu Hurairah (radiAllahu ‘anhu) was asked about taqwa. He said, “It is a road full of thorns. One who walks it needs to have extreme patience.”

There is nothing more conducive to concentration of the heart on God than silence and fasting, just as there is nothing more conducive to scattering than too much food and too many words, even about what concerns us. [Letters of Sheikh al Darqawi]

************

When it all feels so insignificant,
leave me be
so that I can alone
alone so that I can concentrate on worshiping my Lord

When it all feels less important,
leave me be
I won't mind being alone
because I know, with remembrance of Allah, my heart does find rest...

When it all feels so strange,
leave me be
I won't mind being the odd one out
because I know the road to purification is a hill I have to climb
struggling and crawling if I must
as long as I reach the top, insya Allah
to attain Allah's pleasure.

-NAHS [20th September 2007]

ps: Happy Birthday to Izzah and Mas~ Semoga sentiasa dalam perlindungan Allah dan semoga Allah menetapkan dan meningkatkan keimanan dan memberkati kehidupan di dunia dan di akhirat, insya Allah.. Amin..

Ten Useless Matters.

Salaam everyone,

somehow the weather has been very weird (wallahu'alam). These past two days, it's been rather chilly than usual. Kinda made me wonder, has winter come early this year? On the down side of it, I've put my winter coat in the box that's ready to be shipped, so that's a big "OH NOES" for me since I have a few more weeks left here, insya Allah. On the other hand, it made me wonder why the sudden drop of temperature. Wallahu'alam. Allah knows best.

Anyhoo, found an interesting article to ponder upon.

Ten Useless Matters

By:
Imam Ibn ul Qayyim al Jawziyyah
Al-Fawa'id
© 2004 Umm Al-Qura

Taken from: here

1. Knowledge that is not acted on

2. The deed that has neither sincerity nor is based on following the righteous examples of others

3. Money that is hoarded, as the owner neither enjoys it during this life nor obtains any reward for it in the Hereafter

4. The heart that is empty of love and longing for Allah, and of seeking closeness to Him

5. A body that does not obey and serve Allah

6. Loving Allah without following His orders or seeking His pleasure

7. Time that is not spent in expiating sins or seizing opportunities to do good

8. A mind that thinks about useless matters

9. Serving those who do not bring you close to Allah, nor benefit you in your life

10. Hoping and fearing whoever is under the authority of Allah and in His hand; while he cannot bring any benefit or harm to himself, nor death, nor life; nor can he resurrect himself.

However the greater of these matters are wasting the heart and wasting time. Wasting the heart is done by preferring this worldly life over the Hereafter, and wasting time is done by having incessant hope. Destruction occurs by following one’s desires and having incessant hope, while all goodness is found in following the right path and preparing oneself to meet Allah.

How strange it is that when a servant of Allah has a [worldly] problem, he seeks help of Allah, but he never asks Allah to cure his heart before it dies of ignorance, neglect, fulfilling one’s desires and being involved in innovations. Indeed, when the heart dies, he will never feel the significance or impact of his sins.

Memang banyak dugaan for me these past few days, but I believe that Allah knows best, I always tell myself to 'bersangka baik' in Allah, most importantly and to others, regardless of what might appear afterwards. Mungkin ada hikmah disebaliknya.

There's no time to rant, it's Ramadhan, I wanna make use of the time doing something beneficial, insya Allah ;) (besides, Allah has blessed us with a new member to the family, haven't you heard? I have a nephew!!! and he's as adorable as littlecuddlybabyyouseeonteeveethatmakesyouwannagigit *grins*)

Until then, Allah hafiz everyone.

Selamat berbuka puasa~

Welcome New Leeds-ians.

Salaam everyone,

we had a very busy day yesterday. Apparently the new Leeds-ians from Brunei came yesterday from London. And I thought there were only two of them, turned out there were EIGHT of them. I haven't learnt all of their names yet but I'm getting there.

Anyways, they are all undergraduates. Alhamdulillah, with the limited time span, and with their patience and endurance to walk the miles around the university and campus area, sorting out their accommodations and what-nots, and to top it off, we were all fasting, so I take it as a 'ujian', Alhamdulillah, everything went smoothly. We managed to accommodate the three juniors who prefer to stay in a privately rented house rather than the student halls. Alhamdulillah, we have managed to help out as best as we can to make them feel welcome, and we had our sungkai session at Charco's. Perhaps they didn't expect that 'no rice' was available as Charco's is a knock-off (if I may say so) of Nando's - but at a cheaper price ;)

Alhamdulillah as well, the 'tour guides' were very helpful and happy to do it ;) To show the juniors around university area. Big thanks to M, R, G, A and M for helping out with the luggages and transportation.

Today, we went to the city centre since they needed to buy necessary stuff for their rooms. Boy, I remembered when I first came to Leeds last year, I was all alone sorting out what needed for university and for home. I guess being independent is a part of me already that I'd feel suffocated when I'm home where I can't do what I usually do, at my own time and pace without having to worry much about other people. I remember getting lost trying to find the train station, I remember exploring the university area trying to find the library, I remember a lot of things I've learnt about living in Leeds and I guess that's what's got to happen in order for you to experience it yourself.

Sometimes I do get the impression that people think that it's 'easy' to live here. But I gotta say, it depends on how you see it. If you're thinking - easy as in you get to make your own rules - then yes, it is. I love the fact that I have my own room, and I have it to myself, hence I can pray calmly, spend time with myself, and all that jazz. But on the other hand, there's other stuff to worry about, such as paying bills, rent, thinking of what to eat for dinner, buying food stock, having to carry them home (no cars here), this and that... but then that's what makes it so special. It's the experience that counts.

But that's just me ;)

The juniors with R - plus Auntie and Uncle (parents of Zaim (sp?) - I's cousin)



[pictures have been deleted]

Anyways, we're home now. Resting.

Somehow, seeing the new juniors coming now makes it more harder to leave Leeds, but at the same time, I can't wait to be home again, especially during Ramadhan because I've missed it for the past three years. I can't wait to wake up during sahur, and I can't wait to go to Pasar Ramadhan (or whatever they call it now) and buy begedils and kueh malaya. YUMS!! More importantly, I can't wait to see my halaqah sisters and join the halaqah!!! YAY!

What's for sungkai later? And what's for sahur tomorrow morning? Teehee.

Have a blessed day, everyone. Allah hafiz.

Kaka Hana: yes ka, I got your contact details in my inbox. Thank you for sending it. Insya Allah, will let you know prior to my departure to London ok. take care ka..

things i'd miss...

Salaam,

I was contemplating about a few things lately, it's for a fact that, insya Allah, I'd be leaving the one place I've called home for the past year, where I've made friends regardless of nationalities, skin colour, age and gender. My uni course has provided me with friends from all over the world that I never thought I'd be friends with (Tajikistan, Nigeria, Germany, Thailand, Malaysia, Pakistan, Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, China, Cyprus, Bangladesh to name a few), while my personal life has extended my friendship that started with a 'teguran' from an akak who thought I was a Malaysian during welcome week at the Parkinson Building signing up for student union's clubs and soceity. It led to having a Malaysian housemate for a few months, getting involved so much with activities that the Malaysian society organized and becoming a member of the MSCL club, I even participated in the Visit Malaysia Year 2007 Night in Leeds as a dikir barat performer. The amazing undergraduates and postgraduates that I've come to adore each day... I gotta say, my one year here was filled with laughters, making new friends, getting familiar with the slang that most people mistaken me for thought that I am a Malaysian, getting invitations to go places because 'we are geng', expected to be at an event because 'we are geng', not forgetting the tears of saying goodbyes to these great people who have helped me, one way or another, to become the person I am trying to be now. I've realized a few things along the way.

[pictures have been removed]



And now, time's coming to an end. I am leaving this place soon, and the heart is heavy. Even though, most of the people I am close with are already back home in Malaysia at the moment, but there are still memories here, a *something* that didn't get the chance to blossom because of the way things are and will be, ups and downs, stress and relaxation, exercise by walking, trying out new recipes for the sake of undefined territory, I even fell in love with nasheeds after being introduced by H* who happens to be a nasheed singer.

Boy, if only you knew how much I love this place, because I was a part of it. And saying goodbye doesn't feel like the right thing to do for now :(

Very sentimental tonight. Why eh?

I leave you with a nasheed performance from the guys during our Maulidur Rasul this year.

Tak mungkin terlihat cinta yang merona,
jika hanya renungan mata yang bersuara,
bukan atur kata...
::Lafaz yang tersimpan~::

knackered. simply knackered.

Salaam everyone,

Alhamdulillah, I'm doing fine, despite coughing a little bit, perhaps due to massive house-cleaning campaign last saturday that all the dust that I managed to accumulate for the past year has finally taken its toll on my health, wallahu'alam...

But I'm good ;)

And found out something today *raising eyebrows* and I am a happy happy bunny (and aunt, for that matter). FYI, I am already a proud aunt (a.k.a. "iring") to a very talkative niece named Aleeya! And I'm expecting more, insya Allah :)

Someone actually 'amanah' kan something she confided in me so even though I am so impatient to tell another particular someone, but because 'amanah' is something that's quite 'heavy' to keep, so I'm trying my best to keep my word, insya Allah.

IMAM GHAZALI' Apa yang paling berat didunia? '
Murid 1 = ' Baja '
Murid 2 = ' Besi '
Murid 3 = ' Gajah '
Imam Ghazali = ' Semua itu benar, tapi yang paling berat adalah MEMEGANG AMANAH (Surah Al-Ahzab : 72 ). Tumbuh-tumbuhan, binatang, gunung, dan malaikat semua tidak mampu ketika Allah SWT meminta mereka menjadi khalifah pemimpin) di dunia ini. Tetapi manusia dengan sombongnya berebut-rebut menyanggupi permintaan Allah SWT sehingga banyak manusia masuk ke neraka kerana gagal memegang amanah.'

I'm knackered because I just got back from York Designer Outlet with S. It was a good five-hour straight going in and out of shops that we didn't even bother to take our lunch. haha. But when we wanted to get back to Leeds, somehow the trains got delayed and we got stuck in York for an hour plus before there's a train that could take us back home. Alhamdulillah, despite all that, I was still thankful for today. I wasn't even complaining. Yeah sure I was tired, but shopping was a good therapy for us both - plus we got to eat Millies' Cookies. So yeah!

York's done. Coming up next is Leeds, then London then home (insya Allah)

Ahlan wa Sahlan Ya Ramadan~

:D

Allah hafiz, everyone.

move, moving, moved.

Salaam everyone,

Alhamdulillah, after 12 return trips of walking up and down Woodsley Road carrying/dragging luggages, plastic bags, big mirror, duvets and what-nots, we have officially moved into the undergrads' place for a few weeks because we are officially homeless. The amount of stuff we have managed to gather for the one year living here is unbelievable. Come to think of it, we came here with one big luggage and one small luggage and within a year, we have bought so much stuff that it's impossible to fit all those in the original one big and one small luggages :S

I remember thinking, "where are all the men in the world to carry all these heavy stuff?" but then, I brushed it off and be optimistic about it. Who needs a guy to do a job that us women are capable of doing, yeah sure, it's more harder, but at least at the end of the day, I can actually say, "... done that". Perhaps being on my own for the past year has taught me to really stand on my own two feet. It's harder, but I've managed so far, Alhamdulillah :)

Anyways, came across a blog that I got from an email I received, and one particular post actually made me - cried to be thinking of how weak my Iman is lately. Perhaps it's been weak all these times :(

It's a good read - clickey here

"....And Allah guides whom He wills to a straight path"
(Surah al-Baqarah, Ayat 213)

And I've asked *A to find me the book - "Syahadah: Dialog dengan gadis melayu atheist" - of course, *A wants to check the contents first before giving it to me, just to be sure, *A says.

Alhamdulillah.

Now that I'm free, what am I going to do?

~Ahlan wa Sahlan Ya Ramadan~ I'm so excited!!!! Can you tell????? May this Ramadan will be more meaningful for me, insya Allah...

Allah hafiz.

after all is said and done...

Salaam everyone,

Alhamdulillah, praise be to Allah alone for making it a smooth and easy day for me today, after going through the last three months doing the biggest part and sorta the most important highlight of my postgraduate life as a student - finishing my dissertation, today, I have submitted my work. And was I relief?

Honestly, not really. Perhaps, because I finished the work quite early but postponed in handing it a few days after printing it, really taking my time to bind it, going through it... and spending a night with it. I know, sad, isn't it? Well, it's MY work. I feel so attached to it somehow. Prolly because it has a lot of personal happenings attached to it as well. I went back to Brunei because of it - gathering data, got to see my family at the same time, had a vacation in KL, came back here finding out I missed all the crazy summer sale, and spending the last four weeks or so transcribing my interviews, going through a lot of articles, writing a lot of points, sleepless nights, spending a lot of time with my laptop, missing a lot of proper meals (hence, 'diet' period), uneven emotions, spending less time outside because I practically stayed in my room most of the time, sacrificing time with friends and putting outside the urges to go shopping... and all that jazz.

And after all that is said and done...



But I got to talk to my mama today. Hehe.. She was the first person I called when I handed in my dissertation. Then, S and I went for lunch, went to send her former housemates off and then off to buy some groceries.

I have a confession to make.

I'm currently addicted to strawberries with chocolate. Before this, I was like "what's all the fuss?", then when I tasted it for the first time last week - I'm hooked!!! I was never a strawberry-person, but for this one, I'm all for it!! The strawberries look so yummy, yes? Well, they taste EVEN BETTER than they look. Can you see I'm drooling??


Teehee.

Such a girl I am.

There's an 'acknowledgment' page in the thesis that we included for thanking those people who matters to us. My deepest thanks go to my parents, but I felt so bad now I didn't include all the 'other' persons who have directly and indirectly encouraged and motivated me in finishing the thesis, without whom, I wouldn't be able to finish it earlier!! But rest assured that my thanks and gratitudes to you guys (you know who you are) are a part of my prayers, insya Allah... ;) (perhaps, when I get the opportunity to do my PhD one day, then insya Allah, I'll remind myself that... ;) )

Alrighty then. Time to catch up on things (and life and sleep and rest and laziness). I need to pack my one year and move out!!!

Allah hafiz everyone.

a early taste of what's coming...

York Trip

.....AND FREEEEEEDOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMM!!

final week final week final week!!

and sushi later~ (insya Allah)

A lot like HR (love)?

or

Salaam everyone,

I have a thought, well, more like a question.

Is it just me or is finding a boyfriend/girlfriend/potential husband/potential wife nowadays feels a lot like finding a job in a competitive world where everyone is out there, regardless of your age, qualification, status, and etcetera and you, an "employee" have to "push" your CV (Curriculum Vitae) through to get noticed by potential "employer" (boyfriend, girlfriend, potential husband, potential wife).

Having been an interest to understand the beauty of Human Resources in the workplace, adding in the opportunity to study in-depth knowledge and exploring my understanding in this area has made me somewhat a skeptical twenty-something year old girl, who, insya Allah will finish her postgraduate study, after gripping in so tight the title of a 'student' for the past twenty years or so, who will return home after three years of studying abroad, celebrating her first eid after three years being away from family (insya Allah) and still very much 'single'.

There must be something wrong with me. Or better yet, perhaps the world of love I once knew before is changing so rapidly, that at times I feel so lost in it, not knowing what to do, where to go and worse, what to feel.

It's just like in the profession of HR, you have to keep up with the changing laws and practices, the current trends, the changing proportions of number of employees entering the market, what professions are 'hot' and 'in demand', what are the qualifications needed to get those 'hot' professions - an HR professional must have at least some knowledge about every perspective involves in the world of labour market. One way or another, any changes in the Employee Rights Law could very much affect how , for example, an employer treats an employee during interview session as part of the Selection and Recruitment process. One wrong move, the employee can drag you, the employer to court claiming having been 'discriminated against'. So, perhaps I have neglected to 'keep up' with the current trends of relationships, having to let go of my previous relationship so drastically because 'it was the right thing to do' at that time, that has made me feel so incompetent when it comes to relationships, and love.

Everyone knows that when you apply for a particular job, you send in your CVs, and a 'powerful' CV can attract the attention of the potential employer that makes that 'powerful' CV stands out from the rest, hence a 'powerful' CV must have the criteria to 'sell yourself as an employee' so that you are 'in demand'. Rules and regulations are what that keep the labour market a safe and perhaps systematic way of doing things, specifically, hiring the most suitable employee. But I'm not going to give you tips on how to write up a 'powerful' CV, well, not today, I won't, but who knows in the future, eh? Insya Allah ;)

So the question is, are there any rules in the game of love? Or are they so invisible that the rules are verbally understood by those who claim to be 'in love'?

Because if there are rules, then I must've missed the sign. Even if they are invisible, I'm sure I must've misinterpret them. Whatever the reason is, I'm just saying I'm dumbfounded.

Going back to my metaphorical example of love in HR terms, somehow being a single twenty-something year old, I'm wondering if I did anything wrong that put me in this position now.

*looking around*

Nah, I take that back.

The point is, it feels that now, it seems a lot more harder to find a decent guy without having so much expectation because at my age, I must be rational and at the same time critical to be thinking of questions 'about the future'. Just like when finding a suitable employee, the employer will be looking at the basic information that a typical résumé provides, because selecting the 'right' or 'most suitable' employee is a risk that the employer is taking, because the employer is concerned about what this candidate will provide for the employer in the coming years (future) and we all know business-driven employers only care about one thing and one thing only - PROFITS! No one wants to hire someone who will bring in loses to the company, yes?

Below is an example of how a typical résumé look like:

Note: I type this without having to refer to any CV in particular, but just one of my 'from top of my head' ideas...

(a passport-sized photo is usually attached with the CV)

1. General personal details; name, address, status, race, religion, age (to determine working experience)
2. Qualifications; having the highest qualification obtained is placed on top (which is pretty vital because your qualification is what gets you to the next short-listed process)
3. Working experience; if you're a fresh graduate, you are expected to perform at your level of intelligence/way of thinking hence there are good chances you'll be selected to be one of the short-listed candidates depending on 'how you sell yourself' in your CV, but on the other hand, if you have several years of working experience, this could be a huge advantage on your and your potential employer's part especially if the area you're applying for is inter-related with your previous working experience
4. Other Qualifications/Awards; such as IELTS, Best Student of the Year Award, CIPD Student of the Year Award, Best B&F Student Intake 17, Best Management Student...etc.
   
5. Previous school; now, I don't know how it is in Brunei, but in a competitive market place in the UK, sometimes where you obtained your degree is considered a huge thing - for example, if an employer has to choose between a graduate from Cambridge University or a graduate from *insert a university with a lower rating*, who do you think the employer will be most interested to take? But bear in mind about the degree rating, meaning, it's no use having a third class degree from Cambridge University as compared to someone from a *insert a lower rating university* with a first class degree, now would it?
6. Capabilities; here is what you put as what you are capable of doing. Usually, it's the typical 'Excel in Microsoft Office' and listing down all - MS Word, MS Excel, MS Powerpoint, MS this, MS that. Some might even put, 'Able to speak and write in English, Malay and Arabic fluently' - which could be advantageous depending on the job apply.
7. Hobbies; some might put what they like doing during their free times, but to be honest, it doesn't really make a difference. I think it's just one of the ways the employer wanting to find out if you are actually a 'fun' person who is not so workaholic. hahah.
   
8. References; this could be your previous employer's contact number in case your potential employer wishes to confirm all the details you give are correct.
   

But that's just my two cents.

Now, it seems easy yes? It seems do-able. With the right information, especially the ones that the employer is particularly looking at, chances are, if you are a potential candidate, you'll be lucky to get a call or a letter saying that you're invited for an interview at so and so date and time. (Must remember though, as much as you want to 'sell yourself' and appear creative, don't ever put in something that's not true because in most part of the world, they do have laws that could bring you to court for false statement)

So, having said that, I put myself in the shoes of an 'employee' looking for a potential 'employer'. It feels like nowadays, in order to 'get noticed' by these so-called 'employers', one has to play by the rules, hence the idea of 'it feels like we're applying for a job' (which, on the contrary, MAYBE we are applying for a full-time job - as a girlfriend, or better yet, as a wife), whereby for someone to 'notice' you, they have to go through the process of 'selecting, short-listing, recruiting and hiring'. Below are the 'steps' that I would think of how everything happens.

• the passport-sized photograph - in terms of perhaps, display pictures for those who are an active user of chatrooms, msn messenger, yahoo messenger and the likes.
• then the typical personal details - name, age, where you live, status, what you do.
• comes next is the qualifications - which derives from 'what you do', whether you're a student, a *insert something* officer, a researcher, *insert job title*, or unemployed; for some, this also means your 'physical qualification' - height, weight, how 'vain' you are (lol, kidding!) - pokoknya, semua mengenai fizikal seseorang that makes the 'employer' attracted to you
  
• follows by experience - in terms of how you bring yourself that makes who you are now, in terms of your maturity level, your way of thinking, your thoughts, the way you appear to others, your goals, your dreams, whatever it is about you that make you the person you are now... because at some point, one way or another, we all learn from our past mistakes that 'pengalaman mendewasakan kitani', perhaps the more 'experienced' you are, the more different your perspectives are on certain things.
  
• Other qualifications - could mean other 'means' that you, as an employee, owns. For example, perhaps you drive a limited edition Mitsubishi Lancer Evo 9 that for some could be a HUGE thing, or that you own a house, or that you have a distinct 'something' that only a few has - whatever it is, it could help in getting that 'extra' attention from the potential employer.
• Previous relationships - in terms of your 'relationship' history (although this doesn't necessarily being asked in the early stage of 'getting to know each other' - otherwise, "penyibuk jua orang ani, dude, I don't you all that well to be talking about my past relationships"
• Capabilities - hahahahahahha... i'm thinking - cooking capabilities (because apparently guys like girls who can cook (banar kan? restaurant belambak, kita makan kat luar je), house cleaning, able to speak and write Malay and English very fluently, a little bit of Bahasa Tutong and Arabic, and any capabilities that you can think of that you CAN do and HAVE.
  
• Hobbies - hahahahahahhah... the only thing I could think of is - RETAIL THERAPY BABY! (then guys would be thinking - habis la duit aku... kinsil tarus ni kinsil!!) or loves to increase knowledge by reading Islamic books or articles - whatever it is.
• References - this could be your best friends or closest friends or your clique, or whoever are personally close to you to find out how you are, digging up details about you from a third party.
  

lol.

But that's from the point of view of an 'employee' applying for a suitable job. What about being in the shoes of an 'employer' searching and selecting and recruiting and hiring the BEST possible, or perhaps the MOST SUITABLE employee for that post (a boyfriend or girlfriend/husband or wife)?

You'd be thinking, when you look at the CV just now, yes there are some vital information that you could use to select and short-listed your 'candidates'. Sometimes, it does get overwhelming when you have more than 'one applicants' who are interested to apply for a post in your life, which makes selecting and choosing the best one a wee bit difficult. So many choices to choose from.

Honestly speaking, being a girl, we all want to be loved. In fact, we LOVE to be LOVED. No questions there. But, there will come a point in your life that you'd be thinking, does he deserve me? Do I deserve him? In certain (unique and rare) circumstances, one might find love and stick to it all throughout the years (like G&G, Z&V) and hope that jodoh kesampaian (Amin), but for the rest of us, how is it going to end? Wallahu'alam...

If for example, you're just looking for someone to love (or be with because everyone else seems to have a partner except me), someone you can find comfort in at times where it feels like the world has neglected your existence and that person is the only one you can turn to, then perhaps you can throw all the rules and CVs and whatever and be with that person who can make you happy at that time being. And if you don't find yourself compatible with each other no more, feeling that there's no more love left, then you just up and go, and find yourself a new 'job' or rather, a new 'employer'.

But if you're looking for something more than just companionship and love, someone to settle with, someone you can trust, someone who can trust you, someone to care about, someone to understand, someone who's willing to compromise for the sake of staying together, someone worthy that you want to spend the rest of your life being next to that person, then I supposed, it comes back to that basic rules of trying to find the BEST, or at least the MOST SUITABLE candidate from a pool of potential candidates.

One piece of advice though - in your search for Mr. Right or Mr. Most Suitable, perhaps always keep in mind that there are no such thing as 'a perfect CV', hence there's no such thing as a 'Mr. Perfect'. Before anything else, you have to look at yourself, think of your good qualities and treasure them because they're your best bait, and remember your bad qualities and try your best to polish them away. Only when you learn to love yourself, that you'll learn to love others.

Ness mentioned something about love;

"Love is like a butterfly, the more you chase it, the more it flutters away from you, but if you stay and open your palms, (un)expectedly, the butterfly will come to you and rests on your open palm" (or something like that)

What I'm trying to say is, in a quest of finding my Mr. Most Suitable, I have encountered the highs and lows of guys that have managed to both break me & my self-confidence and build me & my self-confidence. But each time it happens, I realize it's just one of Allah's ways to remind me that I need to grow up. "If it doesn't kill you, it only makes you stronger".

And with my new-found perspectives on how I would gladly choose my Mr. Most Suitable, I suppose, in simple terms, I guess I just leave it to the hands of Allah s.w.t. because He knows best, and He knows what's in my heart, and at the same time, I tell myself to make an effort in my quest to find and keep 'him' one day, insya Allah, as well as to never stop my munajah to Allah s.w.t.

For all my single sisters out there, La Tahzan, ukhtis. Your Mr. Most Suitable is out there somewhere, and insya Allah, when it is the 'right' time for you two to meet, then the waiting period seems so insignificant ;) Have faith in Allah s.w.t.

Seperti dalam firman Allah s.w.t.;

"Exalted is He who created all pairs - from what the earth grows and from themselves and from that which they do not know."
(Surah Yaasin, Ayat 36)

To end this already long post, I leave you with this:

Guys, if you are:

"a simple guy who is lovable, kind, generous, ambitious, willing to understand the complexity of a girl, loves to watch any kind of movies so long as it's with the one you love, make an effort to go that extra distance to prove your love, can sometimes be either 'crazy to the point of making an unexpected decision at the spur of the moment' and 'lame to the point that surprisingly your jokes make me laugh', sometimes have an interest to listen to nasheeds and at the same time can be a romantic r&b addict, not afraid of making mistakes, and (is around 5ft 7inches or more tall is an advantage), AND most importantly, know that you will not like (love) a girl for what she is, but for who she is and what she believes, that your ultimate goal in life is "untuk mencari keredhaan Allah dan mengecapi keagungan Cinta Allah dan RasulNya" and that your definition of bringing up a family has everything to do with the 'Islamic way'"

....then perhaps YOU are the guy that the so-few muslimahs have been looking for all our lives, who can help us to better ourselves as a muslimah. If we are compatible and if we hit it off naturally, together we can make it in this competitive world of 'relationships and companionships' in this dunya, and insya Allah, in akhirah... Allah knows best.

I, on behalf of my sisters, invite you to send in your "CVs" together with your recent photograph via email at: [email.stated.somewhere]

Or just leave a comment.

I don't bite. Serious.

teeheehee.

Have a great Friday everyone.

Allah hafiz.

Mood: RELAXED!



/edited

Ladies, if you're looking to expand your muslimah friendship, do join us and our weekly (insya Allah) Halaqah Muslimah discussing about Islamic issues. Ukhti Ness posted about it a few weeks back, clickey here to read about it, and clickey here to join our Google Group Halaqah Muslimah. Jazakallahu khairan, and may we all benefit from it, insya Allah.

“If six mannerisms are gathered in a woman, her goodness is perfected: Guarding the five prayers, yielding to her husband, pleasing her Lord, guarding her tongue from backbiting and gossip, forsaking worldly possessions, and being patient following a tragedy.”

[Ahmad ibn Harb]

:: Patiences, Prayers and Preseverance ::

kita minum dulu~

Salaam all,

tonight 27th August, 1230am, insya Allah, Mars will be the brightest in the night sky that it will be as if the Earth has two moons :)

Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar~

"Indeed, in the creation of the heavens and the earth and the alternation of the night and the day are signs for those of understanding."
(Surah Al-'Imran, Ayat 190)

"Who remember Allah while standing or sitting or [lying] on their sides and give thought to the creation of the heavens and the earth, [saying], "Our Lord, You did not create this aimlessly; exalted are You [above such a thing]; then protect us from the punishment of the Fire."
(Surah Al-'Imran, Ayat 191)

"It is He who made the sun a shining light and the moon a derived light and determined for it phases - that you may know the number of years and account [of time]. Allah has not created this except in truth. He details the signs for a people who know."
(Surah Yunus, Ayat 5)

"Indeed, in the alternation of the night and the day and [in] what Allah has created in the heavens and the earth are signs for a people who fear Allah."
(Surah Yunus, Ayat 6)

"Blessed is He who has placed in the sky great stars and placed therein a [burning] lamp and luminous moon."
(Surah Al-Furqan, Ayat 61)

jom tengok....

Khas Buat Babahku...

Salaam everyone,

It was just another weekend, another weekend for me means the deadline for my thesis is getting closer. But just like any other typical procrastinators, I took my own sweet time trying to finish up another 2,000 words to reach my thesis target, insya Allah...

And just like any other typical procrastinator, I jumped to the idea of having one whole day NOT thinking about my thesis, because A invited us to go to Chester (close to Liverpool) for one whole day shopping frenzy at Chester Oak Retail Outlet. It was planned a few nights ago, and G and I decided that we need a break from the work and spend the day having retail therapy instead, which we are actually best very good at, (un)fortunately.

I started the day just like any other day. Waking up for my late-night prayers, then slept for a coupla hours before waking up again in the morning to do the routine activities. But today, I had to wake up earlier than usual, hence I lost a few hours of sleep because we promised to be at their (A&Z's) house at a certain time.

The moment I woke up, checked my phone and I almost beat myself for almost forgetting that today is my babah's 54th Birthday. Ya Allah. I had it saved on my calendar but somehow I supposed with the things I have to deal with at the moment, that little fact kinda passed my mind :(

But it was never too late to wish him birthday, yes? So, before anything else, I texted mama and berbunga-bunga my text messages wishing babah for his birthday. Why I texted my mama instead of my babah? Because believe it or not, my babah seldom interacts with the kids unless there's something important that he wants to discuss about, any other day, he'd gladly pass the ringing phone (whenever one of us calls up during weekend) instead of picking it up and talking to us. teehee. funny, even mama teased him sometimes saying, "cubatah cakap sama anak atu..." but that's my babah... for those who know him personally, he might seems serious (well, he is, actually) but just like G said, a girl's first love is her dad. I guess I have to agree with her. Almost everything I want in a husband is in my babah. Dads are like a reflection and the best example of how we want our husbands to behave like (at least that's what I personally think).

Anyhoos, melalut lak citer hari nie. Point is, after texting, I called mama up when we safely arrived at Chester and when I said "Say 'Happy Birthday' to babah...", mama just directly passed the phone to babah.

*gulp*

So, as awkward as it must've felt, it actually felt natural. Babah and I talked for a good few minutes. saying that they're having dinner at Nyonya Gadong (aiii) and he even updated on the news of my sister being admitted to the hospital (which, btw, if you could please make dua'a for my sister so that she and her baby will always be in the protection of Allah, and lekas sembuh, insya Allah - Jazakallahu khairan in advance) and then mama was updating on a particular matter regarding application for a particular post.

Seems like everyone's healthy, fine and happy, Alhamdulillah, except that mama sarut suara - so mama, anak mama doakan semoga mama lekas sembuh jua...insya Allah...

[doa anakanda untuk babah mama & keluarga sentiasa dilafazkan di setiap solat harian, insya Allah...]

Right on.

I had headache all day, perhaps due to the lack of sleep and skipping breakfast this morning, but Alhamdulillah, soon as we reached home, after taking shower, wudhu and performing my solat, it feels like Allah has lifted the pain and now I'm fine and all smiley. Alhamdulillah... ;) amazing, innit?

Oh, and I've been blog-hopping these past few days and one of the blog-owners adviced that (in his own words):

"Menulis artikel jangan bergantung pada “ilham”, coz itu akan membuatkan kita tidak istiqamah. Tapi biarlah kita menulis atas dasar “tanggungjawab”. insyaALLAH, kita akan sentiasa hadir dengan artikel2 terbaru…"

:) semoga menjadi iktibar dan peringatan buat diriku yang sering lupa...

"O you who have believed, why do you say what you do not do? Great is hatred in the sight of Allah that you say what you do not do."
(Surah As-Saff [61:2-3])

gots it.

Salaam,

Due to my club membership, I sometimes get latest recommended readings/books send directly to my home and with how it is, if I decided to keep the posted book, I just have to pay for it online. Cool, innit? Who needs to go to bookshop when you can stay lazily in front of the laptop (connected to the Internet, of course) and do all your dealings online?

This month, I got this.



But that's not what I'm interested to read for now. What I really am happy about receiving through the post today is this:



You see, I saw this book when I was in Brunei and KL but I was a bit reluctant to buy it then because it was translated into Bahasa Melayu Indonesian (I think) so, knowing that I can get the english translation copy from here, so I told myself to be patient and just buy it when I'm back. (Besides, mum did mention about her wanting to read this one particular book as recommended by her teachers at school). And now I GOTS IT!!!

*yay yay*

It's true what N said, over here.. it's BOOK-HAVEN, literally speaking!!

Hurry up, thesis, finish already so I can start reading!!

perbetulkan niat?

Salaam,

Jazakallah for your daily visits, all my silent readers.

I came across this website and so far, it's been very good and informative. Clickey here to find out more, insya Allah bertambah ilmu kefahaman tani tentang isu-isu kefahaman Islam.

Anyhoo, having an undoubtful interest to deepen my knowledge on *ehem* marriage, I came across this article. Enjoy.

Niat Sebelum Bernikah

Setiap pasangan yang akan berkahwin hendaklah memasang niat-niat yang baik, sesuai dengan tujuan-tujuan perkahwinan yang telah digariskan oleh Islam; antaranya:

1. Ingin meramaikan umat Islam.

Firman Allah s.w.t.bermaksud: "Wahai sekalian manusia! Bertaqwalah kepada Tuhan kamu yang telah menjadikan kamu (bermula) daripada diri yang satu (Adam), dan yang menjadikan daripada (Adam) itu pasangannya (isterinya Hawa) dan yang membiakkan dari kedua-duanya zuriat keturunan lelaki dan perempuan yang ramai." (an-Nisa': 1)


2. Membersihkan zuriat dalam keluarga Islam.

Firman-Nya yang bermaksud: "Dan Allah menjadikan bagi kamu isteri-isteri dari jenis diri kamu sendiri, dan menjadikan bagimu dari isteri-isteri kamu itu, anak-anak dan cucu-cicit, dan memberimu rezeki dari yang baik-baik.Maka mengapakah mereka beriman kepada yang bathil dan mengikari nikmat Allah?" (an-Nahl: 72)


3. Menceriakan kehidupan umat.

Seperti maksud firman Allah s.w.t.: "Dan antara tanda-tanda yang membuktikan kekuasaanNya dan rahmatNya bahawa Dia menciptakan untuk kamu (wahai kaum lelaki), isteri-isteri dari jenis kamu sendiri supaya kamu bersenang hati dan hidup mesra dengannya. (ar-Rum: 21)


4. Membantu menyuburkan iman.

Firman Allah s.w.t. yang bermaksud: "Dan orang-orang yang beriman, lelaki dan perempuan, sesetengahnya menjadi penolong bagi sesetengahnya yang lain,mereka menyuruh membuat kebajikan dan melarang daripada berbuat kejahatan,dan mereka mendirikan sembahyang dan memberikan zakat serta taat kepada Allah dan RasulNya, mereka itu akan diberi rahmat oleh Allah. (at-Taubah:71)


Tujuan-tujuan sebegini wajar diteliti oleh setiap orang yang hendak berkahwin agar perkahwinan itu dibina di atas landasan yang betul dan kuat serta dikaitkan dengan kepentingan agama. Namun demikian, ini tidak bermakna Islam menafikan kepentingan peribadi dalam setiap perkahwinan. Malah di atas kepentingan peribadi itulah dibina kepentingan Islam tadi, sesuai dengan maksud beberapa hadis berikut:

1. Rasulullah s.a.w. bersabda, maksudnya: "Kahwinilah perempuan yang keturunan anak ramai, sesungguhnya aku berbangga dengan kamu kerana ramainya ummah." (Riwayat Abu Daud dan Nasa'i).

Untuk menambah bilangan umat Islam ke tahap yang membanggakan Rasulullah, mestilah dengan keinginan seks. Seorang yang berkahwin tanpa ada keinginan seks tidak akan menghasilkan zuriat, malah orang yang tidak bernafsu seks tidak dibenarkan berkahwin. Untuk mencapai kehendak Rasulullah di atas maka setiap kali melepaskan keinginan seks, niatkan untuk menambah bilangan umat yang bertaqwa.


2. Rasulullah bersabda, maksudnya: "Pilihlah tempat menyimpan air mani yang baik (isteri solehah) dan kahwinilah wanita yang sepadan." (Riwayat Ibnu Majah dan al-Hakim).

Pilihan yang tepat ada kaitan dengan zuriat keturunan. Perhubungan seks dengan pasangan yang baik itu menjadikan zuriat keluarganya baik-baik juga. Sebaliknya, jika keturunan salah satu dari pasangan itu terdiri daripada orang yang pernah membuat maksiat maka kesannya akan menjalar kepada zuriatnya pula.

Rasulullah bersabda: "Apabila suami mengajak isterinya ke tempat tidur lalu dia enggan, maka tidurlah suami itu dalam keadaan marah kepadanya. Akibatnya malaikat turut marah kepadanya sehingga Subuh. (Riwayat al-Bukhari dan Muslim).

Hubungan seks boleh menceriakan hati pasangan suami isteri. Tanpanya akan menjadikan hati pasangan menjadi gundah, menderita dan tidak tenang. Isteri perlu sedar tanpa berkahwin pun seseorang itu boleh memakai pakaian bersih,boleh makan makanan yang enak dan boleh berhibur hati, tetapi tanpa perkahwinan dia tidak boleh menyalurkan keinginan seks secara halal. Kerana itu, hormatilah suami demi menceriakan jiwanya.

3. Rasulullah pernah juga bersabda yang menggambarkan apabila seseorang itu berkahwin menangislah para syaitan dan sembahyang orang yang berkahwin lebih pahalanya daripada mereka yang belum berkahwin.

Dengan berkahwin, seorang isteri itu akan terbela kehidupannya, terselamat kehormatannya manakala suami pula tidak akan terjebak lagi dengan dosa dan maksiat kerana semuanya ada di dalam rumahtangga mereka. Ini dengan sendirinya boleh meningkatkan iman dan taqwa masing-masing.

Begitulah antara sebab mengapa perkahwinan disyariatkan dan begitu dititikberatkan. Seorang lelaki tidak minta dirinya dikahwinkan, wanita tidak minta dirinya dilamar dan janda tidak minta diri dan anak-anaknya dibela melainkan hanya untuk kepentingan Islam. Demi mahu merebut kasih sayang, rahmat dan redha Allah sebagai jambatan selamat menuju ke hari
akhirat.

"Janganlah mengahwini wanita-wanita kerana kecantikan. Mungkin kecantikan itu memburukkan hidup. Jangan mengahwini mereka kerana harta, mungkin harta itu menyebabkan kezaliman mereka. Tetapi kahwinilah mereka atas dasar agama.Seorang sahaya yang hitam, berbibir tebal yang beragama adalah lebih baik."- Ibn Majah

############

Now, the question is, betulkah niat kita untuk mendirikan rumahtangga? wallahu a'lam.
Who am I to criticize question something I've never experienced before?

even though, back to the question asked, I would react this way>> *neez nods vigorously* lol insya Allah :)

... and this is when ness and neez's theme song comes in line.. NESS, CUE!

starlight, star bright.

Salaam everyone.

(before I forget about this, I better post about it)

Went to watch RH3 with G, Z and R yesterday. I don't want to comment much about it as I don't prefer to do so. Anyhoo, after movie, we went to have dinner at Akbar's since none of us have been there before. Surprise surprise.

It was good though... I guess being the only Bruneian (postgraduate) left in Leeds for the time being (plus R's a medic student) so we got closer somehow, which is nice~ And apparently since I've been gone, watching movies have been a norm for them. Next up - Bourne Ultimatum. The review's been fantastic so I'm really looking forward to it!

Anyways, R mentioned about meteor shower that was gonna happen last night around 2-3 in the morning. So I told him to wake me up so I can witness it. And he did. Sweet. And the moment I woke up, you should've seen me, I automatically open my attic window wide open and just stared at the star-filled sky, while texting R about where to look, how to spot one. As I was replying him, about 20 minutes of just staring at the wide space of the night, I saw one, (of course after making dua'a to Allah to let me witness at least one of tanda-tanda kebesaran Allah swt) and I did and I was pretty much excited about it while saying my Alhamdulillah and Allahu Akbar.

Gorgeous, I tell you. Even though it only lasted literally a second but it was amazing.

Macam chipmore bah. Kejap ade, kejap takde.

And for about an hour, I witnessed six shiny bright little droplets of falling star, and I was ecstatic!! That was my first time experiencing such thing. Alhamdulillah :) Although it could have been more, had I been lying on an open area outside, rather than being in my room, trying to peek out of the small window. teehee... but it'll have to do, yes?

Lack of sleep, hence I was light-headed earlier. But I'm fine now. Although I could barely keep my eyes open.

Bah, I better go.

ps: I found out a few things today. Kinda made me think twice about 'certain' things - more specifically, soal jodoh pertemuan and jodoh perkahwinan. Hmmm...

Nights everyone.

Allah hafiz.

catatan hati; sekalong doa.

Rindu yang teramat sangat untuk sujud kepadaMu Ya Allah, hanya Engkau yang Maha Mengetahui segala isi hatiku...

############

Ya Allah,
sekiranya ikatan yang terjalin di antara dirinya dengan diriku ini mengundang kemurkaanMu dan ia sepatutnya tidak berlaku,
maka aku redha jika Engkau tidak menyatukan diriku dengan dirinya...
Engkau tahu bahawa bukan keseronokan hawa nafsu semata-mata yang hambaMu cari...
Juga bukan teman-teman hanya untuk bersuka ria...
Sesungguhnya Engkau Maha Mengetahui setiap penjuru hatiku, setiap bisikan naluriku, setiap gerak langkah anggota tubuh badanku, setiap niat perlakuanku...
Engkau Maha Mengetahui betapa terseksanya jiwaku memikirkan perkara ini,
hanya padaMu tempat aku mengadu gelora keresahan hati ini...

Ya Allah,
aku bermohon padaMu, janganlah Engkau lalaikan hatiku daripada sentiasa mengingatiMu,
janganlah Engkau sibukkan diriku dengan perkara-perkara yang melalaikan diriku,
janganlah Engkau hilangkan rasa kyusuk dalam ibadatku kepadaMu Ya Allah,
hanya kepadaMu aku meminta petunjuk dan pertolongan,
aku mencari keredhaanMu Ya Allah,
aku mengharapkan belas kasihMu Ya Allah...

Ya Allah,
sekiranya dia bukan milikku, dan bukan tercipta untuk diriku,
Engkau jauhkanlah dirinya dariku,
hilangkanlah bayangan dirinya dari pandanganku,
hilangkanlah kerinduanku terhadapnya,
tutupkanlah hatiku untuknya...

Ya Allah,
sekiranya dia bukan untukku,
berikanlah aku kekuatan untuk meninggalkan kesan kisah kami berdua,
dan meletakkannya jauh di dasar hati yang tak mungkin akan ku ungkit kembali,
dan hadirkanlah perasaan redha terhadap segala sesuatu yang berlaku atas kehendakMu...

Tuhanku,
kembalikanlah rahmat dan kasih sayangMu kepadaku,
sesungguhnya aku rindu padaMu Ya Allah,
aku rindu untuk sujud kepadaMu Ya Allah,
tabahkanlah hatiku untuk menjalani kehidupan ini sehingga aku bertemu denganMu Ya Allah...

Dalam pada yang sama,
aku bermohon kepadaMu Ya Allah,
kurniakanlah aku seorang teman yang akan menjadi sebahagian daripada hidupku,
Seseorang yang sangat mencintaiMu lebih dari segala sesuatu yang ada,
Seorang teman yang akan meletakkanku di hatinya sebagai 'nombor dua' setelah Engkau,
Seorang teman yang hidupnya bukan untuk dirinya sendiri tetapi untukMu...

Wajah yang tampan dan daya tarikan fizikal bukanlah yang terpenting,
Yang penting bagiku ialah sebuah hati yang sungguh mencintai dan dekat dengan Engkau,
Serta berusaha menjadikan sifat-sifatMu untuk ada pada dirinya,
Dan dia haruslah mengetahui bagi siapa dan untuk apa dia hidup
Sehingga hidupnya tidaklah sia-sia...

Seseorang yang memiliki hati yang baik dan bijak tidak hanya otak yang cerdas,
Seorang teman yang tidak hanya mencintaiku tetapi juga menghormatiku,
Seorang teman yang tidak hanya memujaku tapi juga dapat menasihatiku ketika aku berbuat salah...

Seseorang yang mencintaiku dan tertarik untuk mendekatiku bukan kerana kecantikan yang ada padaku tapi kerana hati dan budi pekertiku,
Seorang teman yang dapat menjadi sahabat terbaikku dalam setiap waktu dan situasi,
Seseorang yang dapat membuatku merasa sebagai seorang wanita muslimah yang solehah di setiap masa dan detik aku berada disisinya...

Ya Allah,
aku tidak meminta dan mengharapkan seseorang yang sempurna,
malah aku hanya meminta seseorang yang tidak sempura untuk diriku yang serba kekurangan ini,
sehingga aku dapat membuatnya sempurna di mataMu,
dan dia pun dapat membuat aku sempurna di mataMu...

Seorang teman yang memerlukan sokonganku sebagai peneguhnya,
Seorang teman yang memerlukan doaku untuk kehidupan sehariannya,
Seseorang yang memerlukan senyumanku untuk meleraikan kesedihan hatinya,
Seseorang yang memerlukan diriku untuk membuat hidupnya menjadi sempurna...

Ya Allah,
aku juga meminta
jadikanlah aku wanita solehah yang dapat membuatnya bangga,
berikan aku hati yang sungguh mencintaiMu sehingga aku dapat mencintainya sekadar yang termampu oleh cintaku...

berikanlah daku sifat yang lembut sehingga kecantikan peribadiku hadir dari cintaku kepadaMu,
berikanlah daku tangan supaya aku selalu mampu berdoa untuknya,
berikanlah daku penglihatan supaya aku dapat melihat banyak hal yang baik dalam dirinya,
berikanlah aku lisan yang penuh dengan lafaz kata-kata yang bijaksana yang mampu untuk memberinya semangat serta menyokongnya di setiap saat dia memerlukanku,
dan supaya aku mampu tersenyum untuk dirinya di setiap pagi

Ya Allah,
hadirkanlah restu dari kedua belah pihak ibubapa kami,
dalam memberkati perhubungan kami berdua,
semoga ia mendapat keberkatan dari mereka,
dan mengundang kebahagiaan dalam kehidupan kami dan keluarga...

Dan bilamana akhirnya kami akan bertemu nanti,
aku berharap kami berdua akan dapat mengatakan:
"betapa Maha Besarnya Engkau Ya Allah yang telah memberikan kepadaku pasangan yang dapat membuat hidupku menjadi sempurna"

Aku mengetahui bahawa Engkau ingin kami bertemu pada waktu dan ketika yang tepat,
dan aku percaya bahawasanya Engkau mampu membuat segala sesuatu itu indah pada waktu yang telah Engkau tetapkan,
Sesungguhnya Engkau yang Maha Mengetahui akan sesuatu...

Kurniakanlah kebahagiaan dan keredhaanMu dalam kami menjalani kehidupan di dalam limpah rahmatMu Ya Allah...

Ameen Ameen Ya Rabbal 'Alamin...

.... jangan berhenti berdoa ;)

Salaam.

hello yummies...

For 99p, you get this:



FACT:

A girl can never have enough shoes, enough bags, enough tops, enough tudongs/headscarves and anything with chocolate in it, on it and with it (and I'm not just talking about food!)

hush, cheeky!

worth being away for...

Salaam everyone.

With a box full of ardams, a few boxes of munchies (comprised of raya biscuits) and a few tops, I left Brunei with a very happy heart. Not that I like getting away, as the thought of 24 hours of travel (17 hours of flight and 6 hours of coach travel back to Leeds - do the maths) is an agony, but because I realized that being away will mean that I get to be on my own again. I will have back my me-time.

You must get offended by that remark. But I didn't mean it to sound so insensitive. You see, the moment I entered my room yesterday, I realized how much I love my life here. I get to live by my rules, and no one else's. Not saying that it's bad... in fact, I absolutely adored my 5 weeks vacation in Brunei, because not only I got to see my family and only *cough* some *cough* of my friends, but also because I gained weight by the amount of food I consumed since I got back, but also because time flew so fast that I forgot to breathe and take a moment for myself, and just myself.

Now I realized, when I'm in Brunei, I don't belong to me. I belong to my parents and my friends. My parents, especially. Not that I don't enjoy it, but having to be apart from them most months of a year, kinda have to get myself used to the idea of living under their roof. You know what I mean, right?

Anyways, now I'm back. I have about 4 weeks to finish my thesis. But work will not start until end of the week, because I need to catch up with my food stock, stories and yada yada yada...

Thanks for those who made my vacation in Brunei worthwhile. My sincere apologies if I were unable to attend any meet-ups, hang-outs due to the constraint of my time since I spent two weeks working, a week in KL and another week with the family and I'm back here again.

What I love about being back? The faster broadband connection, of course. ;)

Now you'll always see me online on messenger. Perhaps updating the blogs and participating actively (insya Allah) in the newly formed halaqah google group.

Here're some pictures prior to my departure.

[pictures have been removed]

ps. I miss everyone now. Especially mum and leya lating! And Nyonya's Butter Chicken!! And DIMSUM! And Butter Chicken some more!!

Isn't it funny.

Salaam everyone.

I have come across this post and it's quite interesting.

It's titled Buat Bakal Suamiku, credits go to the writer, Zahranuur.

=================================================================

Let me tell you one secret.

Truthfully, I am scared. Emotionally, I am SCARED.

Lately, I have been somewhat compromising with myself. And I blame it none other than myself and my weak iman. I would love to rant and/or let it all out here, but I decided not to, I told myself, I have a better listener (not that you guys are any less than better ;)), so it's either I keep it to myself, or I tell Him.

All my happiness, all my sorrows, all my smiles, all my sadness, all my tears, all my secrets, I tell Him.

So many things I want to share with you. One of the things that I have been avoiding to talk about is - love and relationship.

Because it might be considered as - unmuslimah - for me to talk about it since quite more than a few times I have mentioned about the beauty of muslimah, lower gaze, haya'... then you might wonder, how am I going to find a suitable husband?

Allah knows, my readers. You don't know what I've gone through, what I am going through. But Allah knows :D

It seems a lot more complicated to be put into words - for fear that you might get all judgmental - but at the end of the day, I know my intentions are right, insya Allah, and before I try to correct you, I am still trying to correct myself. Yes, I am not perfect. Yes, sometimes, I do feel lonely. Yes, I am still single. But I am not alone. Nor I am lonely. In fact, the very idea of a relationship scares the wits out of me. Perhaps because I have been out of it in a long time that I keep on telling myself that the next time I am in a relationship, let the guy be the one I want to spend the rest of my life with, the one who can guide me through living happily in this world and the next, insya Allah. To find that kind of guy, for me, is a challenge. Yes, there are a lot of potential out there, masya Allah. When I didn't ask for it, it seems like they're there queuing up - without being invited. Choices, choices, choices. But to know someone is to know how they are - islamically. It is a difficult task for me, but after reading this post, then I realize that it's quite simple. Yes, I do usaha as well, but more importantly, I leave it to Allah's hands.

It states that "... Tetapi anda perlu ingat, bukan semua perempuan mempunyai hati yang lembut dan mudah di bentuk. Keimanan dan kekuatan sikap merealisasikan Islam perlu ada pada lelaki. Perempuan yang beriman mesti mencari lelaki yang lebih kuat imannya daripadanya kerana lelakilah yang menjadi ketua keluarga…"

Lelaki lah yang menjadi ketua keluarga. How important that is in memilih calon suami? For me, that's quite important. Especially, when I have the intention to lead an Islamic life for my family one day, insya Allah. And for that, I supplicate to Allah to temukan jodoh with someone who can bimbing myself and our family in Islamic upbringing, because he will be my husband, my better half, my imam, insya Allah.

So, how now? How to find such worthy guys? They are around, ladies. Maybe a bit shy to approach knowing that a muslimah is usually 'out-of-reach'. For those who are daring and willing to take risks, can just go ahead and ask the girl or guy out. There's no harm in that. I've read books that advice girls or women to make the first move, instead of waiting for the guy to make the move - yes it might sound 'bari malu' and can di perumpanakan seperti 'perigi mencari telaga' (or is it the other way around? lol - right neez, kan guna peribahasa pun nda tau). In cases where you're a bit 'shy' to make the first move, this is where 'orang tengah' main peranan. 'Orang tengah' in this sense, can be someone we personally know, or a friend of that person we are interested to get to know.

Easy said than done, you know!

Ey-elahhhh... Let me tell you a little story.

Disclaimer: Based on true story this. And the person concerned has given approval for her story to be published.

Girl likes boy. But girl heard from sources that boy is apparently 'not available'. Then, girl keeps the friendship strictly friends for fear of being called names - 'perampas', 'gatal', 'nda sadar diri', etc. But at the same time, boy seems interested. Boy gives hints. Boy flirts. Girl plays along. But girl also gets confused. How meh? He's not available but why boy is saying things that are obviously flirtatious. Dangerous territory this. (Please note: flirtatious in a sense that is not melampaui batas, as boy and girl communicates most of the time via internet. Boy and girl still maintain the haya' or modesty between them in their conversation, wallahu'alam, but a lot of hinting is playing around. Hence, boy and girl never actually go out, nor dating, unless it is either attending functions where boy and girl are both involved in and when boy and girl meet, they keep it strictly casual). Then, one day, boy and girl meet up (accompanied by friends lah - not just the two of them), then boy and girl hit it off. This is also the day where boy and girl exchange phone numbers (finally) after knowing and communicating with each other for the past few months. They clicked. They enjoy each other's company. Girl likes boy even more. And boy seems to give positive feedback as well. Then friend of girl jokingly asked about the boy's beau. SHOCKER!

Boy says "I am single. I am not attached. I don't have a girlfriend". Boy looks at girl and repeats "I am still SINGLE". Girl blushes. All these times, it was false assumptions (which is why it's quite dangerous to assume things without proof - especially when it comes from a third party not from the person concerned). Anyways, after knowing that boy is single, girl gets a bit excited on what to do next. Girl likes boy. And seems like boy likes girl too. Plus when girl calls boy, a friend of boy hints "... boy is driving at the moment, any messages? want to say girl misses boy har?", girl, of course maintain ayu saying, "no.. just tell boy to call girl when boy is not so busy". It shows that boy tells friend about boy's interest on girl. And girl also tells close friends about girl's interest on boy. So, one day, girl and boy decides to watch movie with a bunch of friends. Then what?

Then, girl hints. Boy hints also. No direct talk. Just hints. Gaaahhhh~

Annoying right? Talk about stubborn and ego! heehee

Then, come third party - orang tengah - OT. OT says "bah give me boy's number, I text on girl's behalf". Girl gives in, thinking OT is joking. OT isn't.

So, OT texts guy stating, "(intro)... asking on behalf of girl because girl's shy and girl's the reserved one and I break rules... so what say lunch together... yes, no?"

The boy replies, "ehem.... I think I will text and ask her personally. Tell her also, don't be shy ;)"

JENG JENG JENG.

Then, boy texts girl. Boy asks girl to go out lunch. An official date :)

Moral of the story: Don't always take wholeheartedly any assumptions/stories without knowing/finding the truth from the person/s concerned. A little effort doesn't hurt. A little help from orang tengah is sometimes welcomed. But more importantly, set our intentions right, berdoa kepada Allah to permudahkan urusan, insya Allah..

Although, some might perceive it as "membari malu" or "never in my life will I ask a guy out". Babe, belum cuba belum tau... kalau atu tau malu, mendedah aurat depan non-muhrim, inda malu dengan Allah?(including me especially!! sigh). Don't let our ego keeps us away from a chance of happiness. As long as ia inda melampaui batas, dating pun dating jua, but when two people non-muhrims are together, best believe the third party is there to shake your iman. Nauzubillah... set your boundaries, get to know the guy, know hati budi nya, know how he brings himself, because if he fits the criteria of 'the one', then berdoa kepada Allah supaya dipertemukan jodoh dan diberi rahmat dalam perkenalan.

This is a reminder to myself, first and foremost, as I take the matter of marriage quite seriously nowadays. Love can be planted after marriage, but for those who are lucky enough to have found love before marriage, cherish it, minta keberkatan dari Allah supaya dijauhkan membuat kemungkaran dan semoga jodoh diperkuatkan, insya Allah...

Next up. Bab Kahwin. Excited this!!

Because, in a few hours, Khairul Aini will no longer be his fiance, but she will be his wife, his zaujah, his better half. Alhamdulillah. May Allah bless this union and strengthen both your and husband's iman, tingkatkan ketaqwaan dan kesabaran dalam menempuh hidup berumahtangga. I love you, sis. Words cannot express how I truly feel, cukuptah I include you in my duaa, insya Allah ;)

Ness, smitten much? ;) Speak soon, sweetiebums.